You’ll never guess what I did last Friday night, guys. Seriously. You’ll never guess.
Okay, maybe you will. Nick Kim and I did a mock Amazing Race at the local library. It was quite an…intriguing experience, to tell you the truth. We were the oldest ones there, and we were put into “teams.” Ours had six people, including our friends Jon and Katy and two other really cool, supermegafoxyawesomehot girls named Cleo and Dyvia. Together, we figured we were going to win, because obviously, since we are the oldest, that makes us the smartest. We thought we had this in the bag.
We were so wrong.
There were many obstacles we faced throughout the night, including wrapping myself in toilet paper and running around like bridezilla for the rest of the night, completing a translation of a french book while trapped in an elevator, and making our own dream catchers (on a side note, that one sucked, because we didn’t realize it was only one PER TEAM, not one PER PERSON. Anyway…). But the worst of all was four satan incarnates of what we like to call “squirrel-graders;” tiny, horrific sixth graders.
The library purposely spread us out around the stations to avoid two teams being on the same station at once. We started at station 15 and had to work our way to 16, then back to 1 and all the way through 14. We were doing well until we hit station 3, where a group of “innocent” little girls were working. At first, we thought we would let them work for a little longer to avoid arguing, but after wasting ten minutes waiting for them to finish, we figured we would just pass them and get ahead.
We asked politely, they said no. We asked a little less politely, they yelled no. We tried finding the clue on our own, and they charged us, screaming bloody murder, ripping the clue and book we were trying to find out of our hands and running away. Then Nick tried to reason with them, show them the good in life above Hell, and the littlest, evilest girl pretended she was deaf and couldn’t hear him.
And I swear to you, Nick was about to backhand her all the way into next week.
Afterward, we went to a station about American History. Nick can say all he wants about being a boss at history, but it came down to the fact that the first time around, we found the wrong book, and then he gave us the wrong answer (even though he had no knowledge of it, of course), and it took us so long to get that damn book away from those satanic girls. And the cycle of running into them, fighting/screaming over the clue, and almost killing them continued until we managed to pass them, much to our relief.
We didn’t even end up finishing. The other group slowed us down so much, we skipped three stations and there was only one team that actually completed the race. But in the end, we had a good time, I was covered in toilet paper, and we all walked out of the arena with proud, teeth-mark-shaped battle scars to show for it.
May the odds be ever in your favor. -Rachael
P.S. Seriously, this is what they looked like: